Redefining Worthiness after leaving religion.
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I’ve spent my whole life striving to be deemed worthy in the eyes of God, yet after years of dedication, I rarely felt like I was enough. No matter how much I sacrificed, prayed, or followed the rules, there was always a sense of falling short.
How could I devote myself so intently and still not attain the very thing I sought? Was my goal unattainable, or were my efforts simply not enough?
These questions guided my journey as I began to redefine what worthiness truly means to me—especially after stepping away from organized religion.
Standards of Worthiness
In the religion I grew up in, the concept of worthiness was drilled into members from childhood. Strict obedience to rules and teachings determined our worth in God’s eyes. Personal worthiness was seen as essential for accessing God’s blessings, revelation, and power—it wasn’t something we were born with but something we had to earn.
I believed that if I kept every commandment, paid my tithes, attended church, and participated in acts of service, then I would be worthy. But the more I tried to follow these expectations, the more distant that feeling of worthiness became.
The Exhaustion of Trying to Be "Worthy"
As I became a mother, the pressure only increased. Between the demands of parenting and maintaining all the tasks required to be considered “worthy”—prayer, study, attendance, service—I was overwhelmed. I could barely manage my day-to-day responsibilities, let alone keep up with everything my faith tradition asked of me.
The pressure wasn’t just exhausting—it made me feel like I wasn’t enough. I began to question how my worth as a person could be tied to my ability to follow these endless rules. And as a woman, I often felt that my desires and voice were secondary to the needs of my faith community and family.
Realizing the Harm in Conditional Worthiness
As I look back, I see how harmful the idea of conditional worthiness was. It created feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and a disconnect from my own intuition. I was taught to look to spiritual leaders for guidance, but I was never encouraged to listen to my own heart.
My worthiness was always determined by external standards, and as a woman, I was often encouraged to defer to those seen as closer to God’s power. In this system, women’s voices were often silenced.
Reclaiming My Sense of Worth
Stepping away from my faith tradition wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for my healing. I realized that worthiness could no longer be defined by a list of rules or by someone else's expectations. I had to redefine it for myself.
Restoring trust in my own soul has been a huge part of this journey. The soul is our direct link to the divine—reminding us of our innate worthiness and divinity. I no longer need an institution to connect me to God; I now know that I have direct access to divine love, guidance, and blessings without needing anyone to validate it for me.
This realization has allowed me to release the pressure of proving myself to anyone or anything outside of me.
It’s ironic that now, without all the pressure to check off worthiness boxes, I feel more worthy than ever before. I’ve learned that true freedom comes not from obedience to rigid rules but from trusting myself and honoring who I truly am.
Learning to embrace my whole self — including my flaws, fears, and imperfections — has been a crucial part of that journey. Brené Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection (check it out here), was an invaluable guide in helping me release shame and step fully into my own sense of enoughness.
For the first time, I feel worthy—just as I am. I no longer need to prove anything to anyone. I am enough, and I have always been enough.
Moving Forward with Gratitude
As I reflect on my years in organized religion, I’m able to see the good that came from it. There are parts of my experience that I hold onto with gratitude, like:
My belief in something bigger than myself.
A strong connection to family and community.
Lifelong friendships and experiences that shaped me.
Opportunities for service and personal growth.
So much more.
Even though leaving was painful, I know it was necessary for my healing and growth. I now define my worthiness on my own terms—not by what others expect of me, but by how I choose to live and love.
Worthiness isn’t something we need to prove or earn—it’s something that’s already inside us. Learning to trust that, and trusting our own inner guidance, is one of the most freeing experiences in life. As I continue this journey, I’m learning to embrace the simple truth: I am worthy, just as I am.
Teach your kids that worthiness is innate.
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Explore More Tools for Your Journey
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Mindfulness.com – A powerful resource for guided meditations, mindfulness practices, and tools to help you stay grounded and present. Find it HERE!
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🌙 Thank you for being here — trust what’s rising within you and keep unearthing your true self.
🌿 Rooted in gratitude, KELSEY!!!!
